Dear Jim*,

I entered the kitchen to find the loaf of pumpkin bread I had just baked had been chopped in two and the best bit in the middle stolen.

Me: There’s been a terrible theft in here.

Mom: I know nothing about it.

Me: You’re the mystery buff, the thriller enthusiast. Come in here an analyze this crime scene.

Mom: I don’t have to go in there to solve it.

Me: So you’re Hercule Poirot. You can do this from your armchair.

“I, Hercule Poirot, am not amused.” ― Agatha Christie, The Hollow

Mom: You’re interrupting what I’m doing in my armchair.

Me: J’accuse!

Mom: Idiot.

While I wait for justice and the next loaf to bake I remain,

Payne.

* Author Jim Davis said, “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.”

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