Dear God,

My service dog, Big Far, has been really sick.

In the deep south, snow is a wondrous thing. Far wandered through the big back yard, eating on it for days. Silly old bear.

In the deep south, snow is a wondrous thing. Far wandered through the big back yard, eating on it for days. Silly old bear.

Big Far is a gentle giant, an Anatolian shepherd and rottweiler mix, a snugglebunny velcro dog. He’s spoiled and adored. He’s my baby.

His service dog duties are small but so necessary. Far gets me out into the world. With Far, I leave the house, and we go to the mall, to shops, to the grocery. We go to places I’d never go. I leave my nest on the couch, even when I’m hurting terribly, and we go somewhere.

When the chin scratch is perfect, it's really hard to keep those eyelids open. They just get so heavy.

When the chin scratch is perfect, it’s really hard to keep those eyelids open. They just get so heavy.

And Far’s got a fungal infection in his nose. Dogs get it from grasses, any dog can get it. Shepherds are more prone to it. The fungus gets into the nasal passages and starts eating away at the bones. Too many invasive tests are required to determine if that is what it is; he’s been through multiple blood works, a CT scan, some scoping, and a biopsy of it all.

None of the doctors have any sense of impetus. The fungus is eating away at the bone, the bone that separates sinus from brain. That goes, and the dog can’t survive.  It’s already been a month since the initial diagnosis. Since then, it’s spread to his other nostril, and it’s getting worse. Finally, finally, we have an “official” diagnosis from the CT scan, and the operation is scheduled for Wednesday.

photo (19)

He’s so handsome, so sweet, strangers stop us all the time to pet him, to ask if they can take their picture with him. I wish I was more into Twitter and had started a #BigFar, because I think he’s trending globally by now.

So I’ve been praying. I’ve been praying so hard. Before, I prayed: just let him survive the anesthesia from the tests on Friday. Just let it be the fungal infection and not cancer. Then, I prayed: just make the labs hurry up with the final diagnosis. Just make the surgeon available soon. Now, I pray: just get us through the surgery. Just let my dog wake up after it. Just let the procedure work. Just let Big Far be happy, safe and healthy.

Oh, God, please, please … just give Big Far and I another five or more years together. Happy, safe and healthy, God. Please.

Yours in anxious, repetitive prayer,

Payne.

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4 thoughts on “Dear God,

    • Thank you so much. I’m so nervous, but so hopeful. The big galoot is pawing at me right now, demanding attention and petting. Fingers and toes crossed, good thoughts and prayers, please!

      Like

  1. Hello there! This post could not be written any
    better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward
    this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read.
    Thank you for sharing!

    Like

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