Dear Shopping Cart,

Communique from Eddie Bauer:

Hey, there’s some stuff in your cart. You put it in there Friday.

I just hate it when they get so needy. Jeez. It was just a pair of shorts. It didn’t have to mean anything. I didn’t make any promises when I put it in the cart. What are all my other shorts going to say when they hear about this?

You called us Friday. You asked us out on Friday. Now it’s a week later, and we haven’t heard a word from you.

Now, we’re not angry. We’re upset. We’re disappointed. But we’re not angry.

Okay maybe we’re a little angry. I mean, it was Friday, then you totally stood us up. Now it’s Thursday, and you haven’t even thought about us all week.

What can you do? To make us happy? To stop these emails?

Well … there’s some stuff in your cart …

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