Dear New Yorkers,

I’m watching the first Avengers movie, and I’m at that part where the alien army starts to come through the portal. Taxis stop, New Yorkers stand on the street and stare up, some scream. There’s frozen panic.

Every time I see this part I’m struck by one thought.

If this happened in Texas, the scene would be so different.

Sure, traffic would stop. People would stare up in fear. And then, everyone from granny to the college student next to her would pull out their guns and start firing.

Sure, the Avengers would save the day, kill the alien army.

But Texas would fuck them up first.

Makes me think New Yorkers are just a bunch of pansies.

And, me, I’m waiting for the aliens with the family shotgun, still

Payne.

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