Hello New Program,

It took me five minutes to figure out a brand new computer program today. I’m really smart. I’m great with computers. I’m good at figuring out new ones, and at doing it fast.

And it’s all pretty useless. Broken brain, painkillers. No work. No teaching. No research.

I try to look at the positive side of things, but lately, it’s been hard to do. Harder yet when old skills like this rear their heads.

My life is such a waste. I should count my blessings. I should consider all the things I can contribute. I should do a lot of things.

Today, I just can’t. Tomorrow, I’ll try again. Until then, I’ll still be ,

Payne.

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